As part of a community service project, students from the University of Colorado Boulder interviewed several of the Dear Jack Foundation’s LifeList participants to gain real-world insight into how to best support a friend navigating the challenges of cancer.
The students took this opportunity to learn directly from those who know the emotional, physical, and mental toll cancer can take. In turn, they compiled 5 essential do’s and 5 don’ts that can help guide anyone trying to be a supportive friend during such a difficult time. These tips offer thoughtful and actionable advice that can make all the difference in someone’s cancer journey.
The 5 do’s include:
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Do listen actively – Sometimes, just being there to listen is the most important thing you can do.
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Do offer practical help – Offer to run errands or help with everyday tasks instead of waiting to be asked.
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Do be patient – Healing takes time, and your friend may need space or have fluctuating emotions.
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Do check in regularly – Even if it’s just a quick text, keeping in touch shows that you care.
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Do respect boundaries – Recognize when your friend needs space, and be supportive even when they withdraw.
The 5 don’ts include:
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Don’t make assumptions – Every cancer journey is unique, so avoid assuming what someone may need or want.
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Don’t minimize their experience – Avoid saying things like “everything happens for a reason.” Instead, acknowledge their struggles and feelings.
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Don’t try to “fix” everything – Sometimes, the best support is just being there without trying to make everything better.
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Don’t offer unsolicited advice – Be cautious with offering advice unless asked, as it may come across as dismissive.
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Don’t compare their situation to others – Each cancer experience is different, and comparing can diminish the importance of their journey.
These insights are a vital resource for anyone seeking to understand how to stand by a loved one during one of life’s toughest battles. We are grateful to the University of Colorado Boulder students for their dedication to learning from our community and sharing these invaluable lessons. Let’s continue to raise awareness and provide the best support possible for those affected by cancer.
